Just one thing that we have in common--neither of us should exist... | quarantine update
It's the spring of 2020, and you all know what that means. School is online, I'm about a month into quarantine. Prom was canceled, so last week I bought supplies and decorated my living room and threw my own prom and took pictures. I don't really know how graduation's going to happen though...
Update: I didn't finish writing and now it's two months later lol. I was reading some of my old posts and realized that I should have put a trigger warning on some of them. I used to not think that trigger warnings benefit anyone, but now that I experienced some ~trauma~ for myself, I appreciate them. It's just nice to be prepared for those kinds of things.
//TW//
My triggers are based on the trauma I got from a certain family member of mine. I hate anything that has to do with su!cide. I watched the movie All the Bright Places, and I hated it because of the ending (spoiler alert lol). I just have a lot of feelings regarding the topic. On one hand, I completely understand what it's like, but on the other, I think it's selfish. I
have depressive moods, but they don't last very long so I'm not diagnosed with depression. The longest I'd get depressed is four, five days max, and you must experience depression for 3 weeks to be medically recognized. But I have wanted to k!ll myself before, and I completely understand what a dark place it is and empathize with suicidal people. But I have also seen a family try to k!ll themselves, and the thought that was ringing in my head the entire time in and out of hospitals was, "Why would you do this? Our family does everything for you."
It's a tough world y'all. It really is.
//TW over//
Anyways, I've graduated high school (summa cum Claude 😊) and I'm going to university in California next fall. I'm super excited. I've always wanted to live in California and now I've found myself preparing to go to a top-rated school in LA (if you're trying to figure out where I'm going, there's basically no other choice than USC and UCLA lol). I'm super proud of myself because I really didn't think I'd get in. I'm registering for my classes next week so hopefully, I get to take some interesting classes!
I want to start writing on here some more. The last time I got into blogging was last summer. One thing is for sure: my depressive bouts are definitely seasonal. The song "Summer Depression" by Girl in Red is 1000% applicable to be every summer. Even though I hate writing, blogging here is fun because it's fun to pretend that someone is actually reading this. I wish someone was reading this.
If you're reading this, leave a comment or send me an email or something (if you can do that)! I know it'll be super awkward at first but, technically, if you read all my posts up to this, you already know my innermost thoughts so we're practically best friends already!
Not even my closest friends know about this, and I'd like to keep it that way. I've had the same friends for forever, and it feels like I've been the same person forever. I'm low-key afraid of trying a new style or expressing a different part of me (like my anime obsession) because I don't want the image I give off to others to change if that makes sense. I think college will be a fresh start for me and I'm excited and scared at the same time. :)
I love you so much!
(again, leave a comment if you're reading this pleaseee)
Byee~~~
Update: I didn't finish writing and now it's two months later lol. I was reading some of my old posts and realized that I should have put a trigger warning on some of them. I used to not think that trigger warnings benefit anyone, but now that I experienced some ~trauma~ for myself, I appreciate them. It's just nice to be prepared for those kinds of things.
//TW//
My triggers are based on the trauma I got from a certain family member of mine. I hate anything that has to do with su!cide. I watched the movie All the Bright Places, and I hated it because of the ending (spoiler alert lol). I just have a lot of feelings regarding the topic. On one hand, I completely understand what it's like, but on the other, I think it's selfish. I
have depressive moods, but they don't last very long so I'm not diagnosed with depression. The longest I'd get depressed is four, five days max, and you must experience depression for 3 weeks to be medically recognized. But I have wanted to k!ll myself before, and I completely understand what a dark place it is and empathize with suicidal people. But I have also seen a family try to k!ll themselves, and the thought that was ringing in my head the entire time in and out of hospitals was, "Why would you do this? Our family does everything for you."
It's a tough world y'all. It really is.
//TW over//
Anyways, I've graduated high school (summa cum Claude 😊) and I'm going to university in California next fall. I'm super excited. I've always wanted to live in California and now I've found myself preparing to go to a top-rated school in LA (if you're trying to figure out where I'm going, there's basically no other choice than USC and UCLA lol). I'm super proud of myself because I really didn't think I'd get in. I'm registering for my classes next week so hopefully, I get to take some interesting classes!
I want to start writing on here some more. The last time I got into blogging was last summer. One thing is for sure: my depressive bouts are definitely seasonal. The song "Summer Depression" by Girl in Red is 1000% applicable to be every summer. Even though I hate writing, blogging here is fun because it's fun to pretend that someone is actually reading this. I wish someone was reading this.
If you're reading this, leave a comment or send me an email or something (if you can do that)! I know it'll be super awkward at first but, technically, if you read all my posts up to this, you already know my innermost thoughts so we're practically best friends already!
Not even my closest friends know about this, and I'd like to keep it that way. I've had the same friends for forever, and it feels like I've been the same person forever. I'm low-key afraid of trying a new style or expressing a different part of me (like my anime obsession) because I don't want the image I give off to others to change if that makes sense. I think college will be a fresh start for me and I'm excited and scared at the same time. :)
I love you so much!
(again, leave a comment if you're reading this pleaseee)
Byee~~~
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