i got a tumblr and some other thoughts

I have a Tumblr: https://crxzychxck.tumblr.com/ 
I post anime and steven universe and vaporwave stuff on there
it's not really interesting but neither is this blog

to be honest, I don't really expect anyone to be reading this so I guess I can just say whatever i want:

I always think about what it'd be like if I ever got a boyfriend.
I really don't understand boys, but upon further investigation, I've found that I don't really understand anything or anyone.
I'm scared of everything--or maybe I'm just curious?
See, I don't even understand myself.

I have a sibling, and I would always make fun of him for thinking too much. To me, thinking too much is one of the most dangerous things a person could do. Thinking too much is what leads to anxiety and depression and suicide.

That's why I try to surround myself with other people, I think. But then the social anxiety kicks in.

I'm like a melting pot of mental illnesses. I have a little bit of everything. Depression, bipolar disorder, social anxiety, internet addiction (which is a real thing), panic disorder, etc.
At least I can tell future employers that I'm well-rounded.
.
.
.
I'm on the hunt for some internet friends. I tried going on online chat forums, but they only want one thing. . .
The reason I want an internet friend is because I'm too scared to talk about the things I like with real people. I love anime and manga so much, but if I talk about it at school. . . I really care about what other people think of me. I also love steven universe, but people tell me that it's a kiddie show. I like rap music, but my friends look at me weird when I listen to it.
It gets really tiring having to put up a facade every. single. day.

I want someone to play video games with and talk about anime with and read manga with and go to Drake concerts with and go clothes shopping with.

If I'm not too careful I might fall in love with them haha




s  o  n  g    r  e  c  o  m  m  e  n  d  a  t  i  o  n  s:
lucid dreams by juice wrld and the piano cover
     i still see your shadows in my room. . .
unwritten by natasha bedingfield
     no one else can speak the words on your lips. . .

y  o  u  t  u  b  e    r  e  c  o  m  m  e  n  d  a  t  i  o  n  s:
antonio garza
     love her so much


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