It's been a while
I want to say that I'm doing better because technically, I am. I'm in college, I'm making money at work, and I'm getting good grades so far. A lot has happened in the past year, and I feel like a completely different person than before. But today, I remembered this blog and all the angsty dramatic things I posted for all the world to see, and I wonder if I have truly changed or if I have completely morphed into the person described in these blog posts? I used to be excellent at playing it off. At lying to myself. And don't get me wrong, I'm still great at both of those things. But I've been putting in less and less effort. Things make less and less of a difference to me. I don't think I want to die at this very moment, but I cannot picture myself at an age advanced in years. I'm more scared for the future than I have ever been. I think it's because I've seen how easy it is to completely fuck up everything. And the whole time, I was telling my